we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
