nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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