we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
