wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
