New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
