Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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