What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
