Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
