Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize