I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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