That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Also, beer. Big fan.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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