Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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