So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
