...so i touched it.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
