Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
