I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize