Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
