what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize