Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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