R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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