Well douche your snatch and let's go!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
