He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
