Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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