My girlfriend figured out who you are.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
