Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize