exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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