omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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