I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
