I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
