it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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