awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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