I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
