she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
