i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
