idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
