They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
