I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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