I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
