Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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