operation have a gay friend backfired
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Randomize
