four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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