So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
