my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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