normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
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That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
