The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
