i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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