she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
