I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
