Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
