ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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