you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
