Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
