Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
