bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
