whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
