My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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