i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Randomize
