Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
