Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
