he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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