I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize