wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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