last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
my liver is dry heaving
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
