remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
