plz talk dirty to me
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
